Ways to tell if you have "That" Friend

The topic of having and what makes someone a good friend has been on my mind a lot this week.  This year has been great for me in terms of making really good friends, but there were times when I wasn't as lucky.  I'm sure we can all admit that we haven't always been the perfect friend to the people we love, and the people we love haven't been the perfect friends to us.  However, there are some friends..."THAT" friend, who isn't necessarily the nicest or most considerate person in our clique on a more consistent basis.  But if you're still unclear as to the kind of person I'm talking about, I've composed a list of hints that will help you spot if you have or maybe even are "that" friend (although I sincerely hope that you have a fun, loyal, honest, trustworthy group of friends in which this post would just be for entertainment).

Do you have friends like this, or the ones below?  (Source)

They only text you when they need something - And to them, that means "anything" at any time of the day.  

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They talk about themselves...ALL the time - Friends are supposed to make sacrifices, and your friend believes that means you sacrificing your own problems to listen to theirs.

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They lie to you when you ask for their advice or opinions because why would you deserve to hear their actual opinions?  They like to agree with you no matter what, in order to avoid arguments and any of the sticky stuff that comes with having an honest conversation.

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When you just know your friend is lying (Source)

They talk about you behind your back to, well, anyone - Yes, your friend loves you most of the time, but sometimes they can't help but vent to other people when you're getting on his/her last nerve!

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They don't make conversation with your family - Even though your parents are the ones who drove the two of you to the Jonas Brothers' concert in '07, or let him/her sleep in your house for three days straight, your friend doesn't feel the need to be all buddy-buddy with your fam.  They have one family they have to speak to on a daily basis, and that's enough for them.  

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They never offer to pay the extra couple of dollars for you- It sucks when you're missing some change to pay for your Booster Juice smoothie, but it's really not their problem now is it?

When "that" friend gives you the "you're broke" look... (Source)

They drop you as soon the people around them make fun of you- "You are only as good as the company you keep" and your friend doesn't want to be associated with someone who makes them look bad in the eyes of people he/she doesn't even care about.  

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If they ever have a choice between their significant other and you, they always choose the significant other - They don't think blowing you off to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend is that big of a deal.  You should understand that the person they've been dating for two weeks means A LOT to them, ok???

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They always make excuses when they can't hang out with you - Sometimes your friend gets better offers, and he/she needs to think of a little white lie to get out of spending yet another Friday night eating pizza and watching Sex and the City reruns with you. 

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They point out your flaws or state their opinions...especially when it's most inappropriate - Their idea of being a good friend means telling you when you're "getting fat", don't have the right personality for your dream job, or that your boyfriend dresses weird.  And they believe it's best when these things are said in front of a large group of people. 

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They flirt with your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex, but that's only to test your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex to make sure they were, are, or will be a good and loyal candidate for you.  Well...most of the time.  On other occasions, it's just to annoy you.  Oops!

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They don't let you have other friends - You only need one person in your life, and that's obviously him/her.  Any other platonic relationships would just get in the way of the strong bond you two share.

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They write rude statuses and tweets about you when they're angry - It makes more sense for him/her to share their anger at you with the cyber world than directly with you.  That way, tension can build between you, people can gossip about your friendship, and the whole situation can become bigger than it could have been if they had just spoken to you directly.

Scrolling down your timeline happily until you see that awful subtweet (Source)

They don't do anything with you unless they want to do it - Remember the "sacrifice" we spoke about earlier?  Well that only applies to you.  Therefore, your friend should never be asked to sit through a boring sports game, or spend six hours at the mall shopping for something that you're clearly not going to find.  

Well... (Source)

They say one thing, and do the other - On Tuesday, your friend tells you that he/she hates when people do something, and on Friday, you catch them doing the exact thing they said they hated.  But they can't help it...he/she is a complex person.

Cut it out. (Source)

I'm sure there are other ways to tell if you have "that" friend, but these are the main characteristics that no one ever wants in a friend.  As I said above, none of us are perfect, but I can honestly say that I've had friends say and do some of these things, and it feels good when those people are personally escorted out of my life.  So, if you spot any of these in some of your present friends, I recommend assessing whether "that" friend adds value to your life (in which you sit down with him/her and let them know how you feel), or whether they simply add stress (in which you do not neeeeeeeed them).  However, if you see these characteristics in yourself (myself included), we also need to be mindful of how we are treating the people who are most important our lives.  Because, quite frankly, we all deserve to have amazing friends...but to also be amazing friends as well. 

One of my favourite sayings is "relationships shouldn't be stressful", and they shouldn't!  Your friends should bring out the absolute best in you, and you should bring out the best in them!

xx

Check out my Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, and share this post if you liked it.  Have an amazing week!

Finding Inspiration

Enjoy this famous poem by Dr. Angelou!

As I'm sure everyone knows, yesterday, beloved activist, writer, poet (she wore so many hats!), Maya Angelou, passed away at the age of 86.  I tweeted that I'm certain everything she's ever said is quotable, and I'm not lying.  She has spoken so many inspirational words that have helped many people in different ways.  She has written memoirs and autobiographies about her life, and trials as a young woman.  And yet she was able to push through those hard times and create an amazing, rewarding life for herself.  She's truly someone to admire.  One of her many quotes that spoke to me today is:

"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love.  Don't make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off of you."

What do I love to do?  What is my passion?  I think those are questions that everyone has or will ask themselves at one point or another.  But seriously, how do any of us figure that out????  My advice is to think about what your most perfect day would look like after you've left your house.  Where would you go?  Who would you see or talk to?  What would you do?  What would you surround yourself with?  What would you eat?  If money or distance wasn't an issue (while still being realistic...), how would you spend that day?  Now ask yourself why you chose that.  Is it because it's something you've never done before, or is it because it's something you do all the time, and gives you the most peace and happiness?

If you chose more than one "perfect day" that's cool too.  I know I can see myself doing multiple things and still being happy with my life.  The problem is, I've never tried any of them.  I mean, we can visualize our perfect situation all we want, but if we don't try it out and see if it's truly what we want to do, what good is that?  So the next step would be to put things into action.  If you see yourself helping children with poverty in third world countries, plan a missions trip or contact a relief organization and see how you can get involved.  If you imagine your perfect day in a designer gown receiving an Oscar, take acting classes or enroll in theatre school, and try joining an agency.  If you plan on being an entrepreneur, create a business plan.  And if you want to travel, book a ticket (I totally understand that a lot of the cool destinations are reeeaal pricey, so maybe save up for that one).  Many of us look at the people who take action and think "wow I wish I could do that", but in reality, why can't we?  There are so many practical ways to take that first step towards living fulfilling lives, so why don't we take it?

Of course there's a lot of fear that comes with following your dreams...fear of failure, of going against the norm, or even the fear that you won't be satisfied once you get to where you envisioned yourself.  First of all, failure is necessary and makes success all the more rewarding.  Secondly, doing what everyone does will never make you stand out for being great.  And thirdly, who said you had to do one thing for 50 years?  No one.  As Dr. Angelou said, you can't be truly accomplished unless you love what you're doing, so if you're unhappy, it's okay to change your mind about the direction you're going in!  Once we get over our fears, whatever they may be, we'll have a clearer vision of what we need to do to accomplish our goals.

Seek inspiration.  Don't wait for it to come to you.  Go out there, make your own experiences, and challenge yourself.  I have yet to hear an inspiring story that begins with "I was laying in bed one night..." (although being in bed is important too).  You don't always have to go far to be inspired, either.  It can start in your community, with your friends, with strangers, with anything and anyone!  Try not to limit yourself by only paying attention to the big things, because you may miss out on the little things that actually turn out to be the big things (pretty sure a quote like this already exists).  And if you're religious like me, pray about it!  Be still, and listen to what you're being told about your calling toward a particular profession or way of life.  I discovered this song called "Am I wrong", that just happened to fit the message of striving for your goals no matter what other people are doing or saying.  As long as we have integrity, follow our hearts, and stand up for what we believe in, we should always be proud of what we've done and where life has taken us!  Be your own person and you can't go wrong!  Click here to listen.

xx

As I said in another post, I'm not a psychologist and I'm not trying to be.  I consider this blog as a way to communicate with you all as friends, so I'm giving advice and sharing my thoughts as a friend.  I don't expect everyone to agree because we all have our own opinions, but if this helps you or you know someone who has been in a rut lately, why not pass it along?  I know I'm not this famous blogger or anything, but it really means a lot to me when people message me and let me know that my blog helps or entertains them in some way.  So thank you!!!

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have an inspiring week!  

Celebrities I Love for More than their Talent

I never understood people's genuine obsession with celebrities.  You know who I'm talking about: those fanatics who change their last names to those of actor's or actress' on social media, or threaten the person a celebrity is dating.  Most of the time, we only "know" an actor or singer from the roles they play or the songs they sing; very few of us actually get to see who they really are aside from some their interviews, tweets, or more recently, Instagram or Vine videos.  But there are some celebrities that have sold me on their kind, down-to-earth, and even funny personalities (with beauty to boot!).  They are the top famous people I would want to meet and even be friends with because they haven't gotten into trouble, take a stand against issues and support causes, and are just sooo cool!  Here are the celebrities that I adore for much more than their stage talent!

Blake Lively 

How perfect does Blake Lively look on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival?? (Source)

"...you meet those women who spend all their time cultivating their own powers, their own endeavors - but to have her say, how can I give this power to other women?  Or, every woman has this power, how can I help actualize that?  It's really amazing."

Okay, yes, she has been absolutely KILLING it over at Cannes with her gorgeous gowns, and inability to have a bad hair day...not to mention posing on the red carpet with her perfect husband, Ryan Reynolds, by her side (they are literally the modern day Barbie and Ken).  And, yes, maybe Gossip Girl is one of the best shows ever created.  But aside from all of that, Blake Lively seems like the sweetest girl with the biggest heart.  She loves to cook (and got me hooked on the show, Chopped), is an advocate for the empowerment of women, and is the face of Gucci and supports their Chime for Change campaign.  She keeps her private life private (which is admirable, but also disappointing as a fan who wants to see what's new in Blakey's life), and she genuinely seems not to notice how stunning she is.  And to me, humility is always a wholesome trait for a role model to possess.

Miles Teller 

If you haven't seen any of Miles Teller's movies, check them out this instant!!! (Source)

Follow Miles Teller here!

I don't remember when I first fell in love with him.  It could be when I watched him learn to dance in the movie Footloose, or breakdown and cry to his mother in the movie The Spectacular Now (which everyone needs to see by the way).  Or it could be his high cheekbones and winning sense of humour.  Either way, Miles Teller is amazing.  Watching his interviews on YouTube, it is obvious that he takes his roles seriously, has the best time bringing each character he plays to life, and is a total sweetheart.  He's not what you would call a stereotypical "hearthrob", but with his ability to be entertaining on and off the big screen, he's a hottie, and should make me his BFF immediately.

Sophia Bush 

Such a beauty who cares about the issues affecting our world.  (Source)

"We all bleed the same blood.  We all have hopes, dreams, fears, and wishes.  We all live on the same planet.  We all have to care for it, and care for one another...And we can do that through acts of kindness every day.  We can do that by choosing to speak out against inequality and injustice."

One Tree Hill has been off the air since 2012, but no matter.  Thanks to DVD boxed sets, I have been able to binge watch this popular show.  Naturally, I've looked up the actors on social media and I'm so impressed with Sophia Bush!  Aside from her cool, raspy voice, and tear-jerking OTL monologues, Sophia uses her Instagram and Twitter account to promote kindness and inner beauty, and is also an activist for women - especially those living in developing countries.  She is extremely successful, but also has her head on straight, and uses her success to reach people and share her views on important world issues.  You go girl (this is such a cheesy phrase but I actually mean it)!

Lupita Nyong'o 

Lupita is just gorgeous from the inside out! (Source)

"I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey...that you will feel validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.  There is no shade to that beauty." 

Of course I had to include my girl, Lupita!  I mean, she is an Academy Award winning actress, but she is also so much more than that.  Lupita wasn't always the confident girl we see today.  In many of her interviews, she talks about wishing she could wake up with lighter skin, and not truly thinking she was beautiful as a young woman.  But her composed, classy, and humble nature causes us to admire her not only for her beautiful face and totally fit body, but the kind and beautiful soul she has as well.  She gives hope to all the little girls who don't think they're beautiful because of their skin, or because they don't see girls like them represented in the media.  And I think that is one of the most powerful things someone can ever do.

J. Cole 

I absolutely love him. (Source)

"They don't have to be a rapper or an athlete, there are people who manage the rappers, who book the shows.  There are so many jobs you can do, this is about expanding their minds to those possibilities."

If I'm not obsessed with any celebrities, J. Cole is the closest I get.  As a rapper from Fayettville, North Carolina, Cole grew up in a single parent home, and remarks on many occasions that his family was quite poor.  He didn't have much, but he did have determination and drive.  He moved to New York for college (on an academic scholarship), graduated magna cum laude (which means, "with great honour" in Latin), and after several attempts at getting a record deal, he was the first artist signed with Jay-Z.  He writes and produces his own tracks, and his music is raw, honest, and relatable.  In addition to all of this, Cole has his own foundation that strives to help the urban youth in his hometown discover their dreams, and work hard to achieve success.  Marry me, perhaps?

Lauren Conrad 

Lauren Conrad has literally been one of my role models since I was 12 years old, and for good reasons! (Source)

"When we meet women who live with hope despite living with hardships, from extreme poverty to unimaginable trauma, it moves us to work as hard as we can on their behalf.  We are humbled by the women we work with and are grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in their future."

People can say what they want about The Hills, but I spent the entire preteen stage of my life watching it, and it is by far my favourite show.  Throughout her time on TV, Lauren managed to stay grounded, and didn't let fame negatively affect her.  Instead, she started and now has three clothing lines, a successful blog, and is a bestselling author for her LA Candy book series.  She is also active on social media, tweeting and taking beautiful photos of the simple things she surrounds herself with.  Conrad and one of her friends started The Little Market, a "social enterprise" that showcases and sells the handmade products of female artisans from all around the world.  As the second highest paid reality show personality, She could have just donated money to these communities.  Instead, she chose to fuel their economy, giving women of various ethnicities and cultures the ability to sell their products to a wider consumer-base, support their families, and be independent.

xx

I started liking these celebrities because of their talent or prominence on my television screen.  I didn't realize until I began writing this post, that part of the reason why I started loving them so much was because of their down-to-earth personalities, and/or efforts to impact our world in positive ways.  Any celebrity can be entertaining because of the role they play, the songs they sing, or the drama they find themselves involved in.  However, it takes strong, unique, and good-hearted individuals to recognize that their status in society can do more than give them the money to buy a mansion or a nice car.  They can inspire, support, and instill confidence in regular people, and that has more merit than any Grammy or Oscar.

Click on the quotes and links to read the rest of the articles and learn more about some of the organizations these celebrities are involved with!  And if you liked this post, be sure to share it with your friends, and follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.  Have the best week ever! (Read my last post here)

I Wish there was Another Word for "Beautiful"

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Earlier this week, I did something I never thought I'd be able to do (at least not yet): I went out in public with no makeup on.  Some people may think that's stupid, or that people who can't be fresh faced are conceited or whatever.  But I, like many people, have acne scars, and they can be embarrassing. They made me feel uncomfortable showing my face for almost six years.  However, a couple weeks ago, I did a chemical peel, which causes your old skin to peel off, and reveal clearer, new skin.  And let me tell you, that was the most torturous week ever (It didn't hurt or anything, but I had to stay home for a week straight...talk about stir crazy!).  Even though I did the peel, the scars were not completely faded, and my skin was nowhere close to being flawless (Beyoncé voice).  Nevertheless, I applied my sunscreen, put on a baseball cap and sunglasses, mustered up courage, and headed out the door.  

I had to wait 10 minutes before the bus came.  This meant I had to stand there, outside, where someone I knew could see me and be alarmed at the sight of my face (everyone has only seen me with makeup on).  But no one I knew showed up, and no one took particular interest in me or what I looked like.  This went on for the rest of the journey.  In fact, when I realized that people didn't really care about my appearance, I started gaining a little bit of confidence.  I spoke to sales associates, stopped tugging so much on my cap...I even took my sunglasses off!  After a while, I looked at this as an accomplishment.  I had built up the courage to go out in public showing the real me!

This got me thinking about the people who have insecurities they can't hide, no matter how hard they try: a birth mark, an undesirable facial feature, or even their weight.  I have a greater respect for these people.  Everyday, they have to get out of bed and step into the public eye, being, or at least acting like they are comfortable in their own skin.  Some people may decide to ignore them, or make fun of them because something they can't change.  But they still have to live their lives and choose to be happy.

Sometimes it feels impossible to embrace our flaws, but even the most gorgeous person alive has his/her insecurities.  Everyone has something they scrutinize in the bathroom mirror.  And despite society's idea that we all have to look and have the same idea of "pretty" in order to be accepted, for the most part, people will accept you regardless of what you think is "ugly" or "unattractive" about yourself.  There's no point stressing ourselves out, trying to look a certain way for people who will criticize or put us down anyway.  I mean, we all want to look nice, be complimented, and receive "likes" on our photos, but getting "likes" on Instagram of Facebook isn't everything.  What's most important is how we feel and who we are on the inside.  That way, our internal confidence and positivity can radiate outward, impacting people's lives, rather than attempting to satisfy judgemental eyes.

I truly admire people who accept their imperfections.  There is just something about someone who knows they are beautiful from the inside out, and that the people who know it too are the only ones worth their time.  I guess the point of this long ramble is that although we are ALL beautiful, we ALL have something more to offer the world than physical beauty (and if you don't believe me, just listen to my bby J. Cole's song Crooked Smile).

I've never written a "personal" blog post, but I wanted to post something different this week.  This is really long, probably reeeaally poorly written, and not everyone will agree or enjoy it, but there's no point in gaining a new perspective first-hand, if you can't share it with people who might be interested or impacted (also, the title has nothing to do with the actual blog post but wutevs).

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Be nice and inspire the people you meet, and remember, "calling other people ugly doesn't make you any prettier"!

Don't forget to check me out and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have the best weekend ever!

New Year, New Me?

Can someone please find me one person who has stuck with their New Year's resolutions this year...or any year?  Because as far as I'm concerned, a list of 10 things I should (or shouldn't) do for 365 days is really just tiring, stressful, and often unrealistic.  I mean, resolutions like "Stop eating Mcdonald's forever" and "Exercise every single day" are just not going to happen for a a girl like me who loves salty french fries and laying in bed for hours.

But your resolutions don't have to be all talk and no action.  If you write them down somewhere visible, create timelines, and are truly committed to making a change even when things get tough, there is no reason why you can't make this upcoming year the best one yet.

I have come up with a few tips on how to succeed (or at least try) in achieving your New Year's resolutions.

1. Come up with a shorter list

Think carefully when you write your resolutions.  See this photo here.  

I'm sure there are hundreds of things we could all do in order to become perfect people, but it's just not realistic.  Try thinking of 3-5 improvements you would like to make in your life.  That way, you can stay focused on the driving forces of your decisions and changes.  Even one goal is a big step.

2. Put your list in plain sight

Adding little notes on the to the fridge, TV, or even a bag of chips creates a visual that may help you to refrain from bad habits.

As much as I hate to admit it (I rarely write things down...ironic huh?), creating a fun, colourful list on paper, and placing it somewhere you visit everyday can be very motivating, and put you in the right mind-frame for the day. You can even write little notes on significant items to remind you of your goals.

3. Partner up with someone

Teaming up with friends to accomplish mutual goals is always a win-win.  
Find this photo and some fun partner workouts here!

Working on your resolutions with a friend, family member, or even a co-worker can also be a great motivator.  When one of you feel like giving up, you can push each other to keep going.  Not to mention reaping in the rewards together!

4. Don't be afraid of failure or setbacks 

Success can still be achieved after a perceived "failure"...Don't give up!  Photo from here.

Remember that a NY Resolution should be a personal choice; no one should be forcing you to do anything.  During the course of the year, don't be beat yourself up about eating that extra slice of pizza--you're not perfect!  Just be proud of how far you've come, and resume your efforts as soon as you can.

5. Be ready to make the commitment and stay disciplined

What a great quote!  Something we should all think about.  See this photo here.

Although you shouldn't be afraid to fail, make sure to take your resolutions seriously.  Without being committed and truly depriving yourself of indulgences from the previous year, you are bound to quit before next December.  That is why it is important to set goals that you are willing to "suffer" to achieve...and stick with them.

6. Download an App to keep you on track

Evernote is an effective way to keep your life organized and remember everything.  

The Nike Training Club app lets you choose workouts based on your 
personal goals, track your progress, and set your own music while getting in shape!

For 99 cents, iMood Journal is simple and cute, and helps you track what
makes you happy and upset. Rate your mood and add comments on why you're feeling that way.

Since most of us have our cell phones in hand or 2 millimeters away 99% of the time, why not put that to use for your New Year's goals?  There are apps for specific purposes (e.g. quitting smoking, losing weight, or exercising), and some just to keep your thoughts organized.  A few apps I really love are Evernote, Nike Training Club, and iMoodJournal to chart how I feel about my progress!

My New Year's Resolutions:

• Read the bible more often
• Take advantage of my school's gym (I'm paying for it anyway!)
• Get a part-time or full-time summer job that is relevant to my future career
• Respond to text messages quicker 
• Post to this blog regularly and consistently!

It is going to be tough, but when those hard times occur, keep thinking of how great you'll feel when the year is up, and the biggest reward you'll receive: a better you!

What are your resolutions for the new year?

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have a wonderful new year and good luck with your goals and resolutions!

~

Weekly Friday Favs

1. Favourite Song

Concrete Wall by Zee Avi

Listen to the album here

During my Gossip Girl marathon (I'm obsessed), this weird, soothing, cool indie rock song began to play in the background, and I had to figure out what it was.  The song is called Concrete Wall, a single off of Malaysion singer, Zee Avi's 2011 album, Ghostbird.  The track begins with a captivating, almost haunting chant--boom shi clack clack, boom shi clack clack--that continues throughout the whole song.  But when you delve into the meaning, it is much more than the catchy use of onomatopoeia.  I won't post the lyrics, but if you are on the hunt for new music, and/or  are no stranger to artists like Regina Spektor, Ella Fitzgerald, and other Indie and Jazz musicians, you must give Zee Avi a listen.

2. Favourite Video

Ariana Grande Rapping Big Sean

Watch on Youtube

I was never a HUGE fan of Ariana Grande, but this video won me over.  She is a definite powerhouse, but who knew her rap skills were also on point?! Ha! Love it.

3. Favourite Fashion Piece

Black Vintage Lace Fitted Dress from Sheinside.com

 
So many ways to wear this dress! I WANT!! 
 

I didn't get to go Boxing Day shopping (the struggle of being a broke university student), but that didn't stop me from browsing my favourite websites for outfit inspiration, and crying at all the cute clothes I couldn't afford.

Anyway, this lace dress from Sheinside.com is absolutely gorgeeoouuus!  I love how the lace detailing overlaps the solid slip underneath, but then becomes sheer on the sleeves and at the top and bottom, creating a kind of scalloped neckline and hemline.  In addition to the lace, the narrow "V" neckline contributes to the dress' classy and vintage appearance.  Sheinside features a Look Book of women wearing some of the items on the website, and seeing how they accessorized and made this dress their own attests to its versatility.  AND it's only $19.99!  See this dress and other stylish women showing off their outfits here.

4. Favourite Quote

I found this on Pinterest.  Follow me!

I love quotes that make me want to be spontaneous and adventurous, and just take advantage of all life has to offer.

That's all for my Friday Favs.  What are yours?

Make sure to check out my Twitter and Instagram and have a great weekend!

~