Finding Inspiration

Enjoy this famous poem by Dr. Angelou!

As I'm sure everyone knows, yesterday, beloved activist, writer, poet (she wore so many hats!), Maya Angelou, passed away at the age of 86.  I tweeted that I'm certain everything she's ever said is quotable, and I'm not lying.  She has spoken so many inspirational words that have helped many people in different ways.  She has written memoirs and autobiographies about her life, and trials as a young woman.  And yet she was able to push through those hard times and create an amazing, rewarding life for herself.  She's truly someone to admire.  One of her many quotes that spoke to me today is:

"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love.  Don't make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off of you."

What do I love to do?  What is my passion?  I think those are questions that everyone has or will ask themselves at one point or another.  But seriously, how do any of us figure that out????  My advice is to think about what your most perfect day would look like after you've left your house.  Where would you go?  Who would you see or talk to?  What would you do?  What would you surround yourself with?  What would you eat?  If money or distance wasn't an issue (while still being realistic...), how would you spend that day?  Now ask yourself why you chose that.  Is it because it's something you've never done before, or is it because it's something you do all the time, and gives you the most peace and happiness?

If you chose more than one "perfect day" that's cool too.  I know I can see myself doing multiple things and still being happy with my life.  The problem is, I've never tried any of them.  I mean, we can visualize our perfect situation all we want, but if we don't try it out and see if it's truly what we want to do, what good is that?  So the next step would be to put things into action.  If you see yourself helping children with poverty in third world countries, plan a missions trip or contact a relief organization and see how you can get involved.  If you imagine your perfect day in a designer gown receiving an Oscar, take acting classes or enroll in theatre school, and try joining an agency.  If you plan on being an entrepreneur, create a business plan.  And if you want to travel, book a ticket (I totally understand that a lot of the cool destinations are reeeaal pricey, so maybe save up for that one).  Many of us look at the people who take action and think "wow I wish I could do that", but in reality, why can't we?  There are so many practical ways to take that first step towards living fulfilling lives, so why don't we take it?

Of course there's a lot of fear that comes with following your dreams...fear of failure, of going against the norm, or even the fear that you won't be satisfied once you get to where you envisioned yourself.  First of all, failure is necessary and makes success all the more rewarding.  Secondly, doing what everyone does will never make you stand out for being great.  And thirdly, who said you had to do one thing for 50 years?  No one.  As Dr. Angelou said, you can't be truly accomplished unless you love what you're doing, so if you're unhappy, it's okay to change your mind about the direction you're going in!  Once we get over our fears, whatever they may be, we'll have a clearer vision of what we need to do to accomplish our goals.

Seek inspiration.  Don't wait for it to come to you.  Go out there, make your own experiences, and challenge yourself.  I have yet to hear an inspiring story that begins with "I was laying in bed one night..." (although being in bed is important too).  You don't always have to go far to be inspired, either.  It can start in your community, with your friends, with strangers, with anything and anyone!  Try not to limit yourself by only paying attention to the big things, because you may miss out on the little things that actually turn out to be the big things (pretty sure a quote like this already exists).  And if you're religious like me, pray about it!  Be still, and listen to what you're being told about your calling toward a particular profession or way of life.  I discovered this song called "Am I wrong", that just happened to fit the message of striving for your goals no matter what other people are doing or saying.  As long as we have integrity, follow our hearts, and stand up for what we believe in, we should always be proud of what we've done and where life has taken us!  Be your own person and you can't go wrong!  Click here to listen.

xx

As I said in another post, I'm not a psychologist and I'm not trying to be.  I consider this blog as a way to communicate with you all as friends, so I'm giving advice and sharing my thoughts as a friend.  I don't expect everyone to agree because we all have our own opinions, but if this helps you or you know someone who has been in a rut lately, why not pass it along?  I know I'm not this famous blogger or anything, but it really means a lot to me when people message me and let me know that my blog helps or entertains them in some way.  So thank you!!!

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have an inspiring week!  

The Single Girl's (or Boy's) Guide to Spending Valentine's Day

We are now into the second week of February, and are quickly approaching what most people call Valentine's Day, and what I call Friday.  That's right, I'm single.  Please contain your excitement boys.

Anyway, as a single person who's never had a valentine before, I've had to be creative with how I spend this special love day.  And I thought I'd share what I've come up with.  This isn't a post to make you feel bad about your relationship status, and these aren't activities that should or have to be reserved for Valentine's day--as I said before, it's essentially just another Friday night.  You can choose to do one of these, or spread the activities out over the entire weekend.  SO without further adieu, here is your single girl's guide to how to spend Valentine's day...or any day.

Thanks but no thanks...

Bake something 

Click on the photos for their recipes, and visit my Pinterest for other recipes!

Look for a really easy recipe on Pinterest or Allrecipes.com for brownies or cake or something yummy, and pull a Betty Crocker (she's not even a real person, oops) in the kitchen.  The best part about creating these treats as an independent young person who doesn't need anyone to define you, is that you can indulge in them all by yourself.  Nothing's worse than having to give away half your cupcakes or cookies to others (kidding), when you can stuff your face with all of them, ha.

Get Pampered 

Do some primping and make yourself feel good.  Get a manicure or a facial and use this day to give yourself the TLC you deserve.  Go all out with what you choose to do at the nail salon, and for the next two weeks, let those pretty nails be a reminder of the wonderful day you had with yourself...the #1 person in your life.

Send V-Day cards to your loved ones 

Instead of sending a sappy text message to some guy, make or buy a few cards, and write personal messages to the people who will appreciate it the most: your friends and family.  Love isn't always professed to a significant other; your platonic relationships are important too.  Use this day to remind your loved ones how much you value, admire, and, well, love them!  I guarantee it'll warm their little hearts, and that your card will be the one they actually keep after V-day.

Surf the internet

This is exactly what I mean by surfing the net..yep.

If you read my last blog post, you know how much I love the internet.  It can be used for productivity, like searching for summer jobs or companies you'd like to work for in the future, but I also personally enjoy searching for vacation destinations, taking personality tests, reading blogs, or watching celebrity news or pointless videos on YouTube.  Try googling one topic, and see where it takes you by the time the clock strikes 3 am (because that's what the internet'll do to ya).

Go out with a potential new friend 

As much as you may be worrying and/or complaining about it, I'm sure not everrry single one of your friends is in a relationship.  And if they are, why not invite someone you've been meaning to get to know out for coffee or dessert (or, you know, both)?  This will give you a chance to engage in some stimulating one-on-one conversation, and you may even end the night with a new friend with whom you bonded with because of your lack of Valentines dates.

 Attend a school event (or any event)

Most schools plan some sort of event to "celebrate" V-day, whether it be a dance, traffic light party, or just a crazy bash for the student body to enjoy.  And I encourage you to go, not necessarily with the intention of meeting your next boy or girl toy, but to go out, have a good time, and meet cool new people.  Talk to someone or everyone, and keep an open mind.  You might be surprised at how much fun you have.  Show others just how charming and amazing you are, and maybe you'll meet your Prince Charming (you probably won't)!!!!!!!

Raid the discount DVD bins at stores

Big box stores like Walmart and Target always have those huge bins of discounted DVDs in the electronics section.  Visit one of these stores and purchase your favourite movie, a classic film you haven't seen yet, or even a $5 flick that looks terrible--that way you'll either be pleasantly surprised by how good it turns out to be, or entertained by how horrible it truly is.

Get some retail therapy

It's been proven that shopping for the soul is actually a thing now.  It can be relaxing and reduce stress, but it's also so much fun.  Head to the mall and buy some new pieces for your spring wardrobe, because getting new things is good.  And if you don't have money, tell your parents that because you're not in a relationship, you have to buy yourself gifts, letting a single tear fall down your cheek and guilting them into funding your mid-February shopping trip.

Stay Home 

If none of these suggestions tickle your fancy, something that never fails is spending the night wrapped up in a blanket like a little burrito, and engaging in the two best activities ever created: sleeping and eating.  It's nice to go out and have a good time with friend or partner, but there are times when I'm thankful that I don't have to dress up, make my face look decent, and leave the house (unless I'm stepping outside to pay the pizza man or something).  Ugh, there's just something so attractive about my bed...and the thought of me in it.

Count your blessings

Being single isn't the end of the world.  In fact, it can be a blessing, depending on how you look at it.  Take this time to focus on school or work, become more independent, and grow as a person.  Be thankful for what you have, confident in who you are, and have faith in what's in store for the future.  The right person for you is out there, and you will both benefit from how much more amazing you'll be after this time you've taken to work on yourself.  But in the meantime, be patient and enjoy your life!



What are your plans for Valentine's Day?



Don't forget to subscribe and follow my blog (located on the sidebar), and connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have an amazing week, and a special Valentine's Day *wink wink*.



**Click on the photos to be directed to their original web pages**

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Why Aren't More of us Happy? Tips on How to Fill Your Year with a Little More Happiness

Recently, I've been seeing more and more posts on social media about happiness, and people's desire to be happy, so I've decided to write a post to address this.  And although I am by no means a psychologist, I would like to think that I have some insight into happiness and joy, simply because I experienced moving from feeling sad, fatigued and unconfident almost three years ago, to how I feel now: positive, cheerful, and truly happy with my life.  This is not because something happened to change my life, but because I changed how I saw it.  I realized that happiness is a state of mind.

For this reason, I am going to provide some tips (based solely on my experience) on how to help you end this year much happier and full of of joy than you started.  

This line from the song Pretty Hurts really stood out to me.  In addition to a career, family and money, being happy is what many people aspire to be in the future.  

1. Choose to be happy.

Happiness is a continual choice...keep choosing it!

I think one of the misconceptions people may have is that they need something or someone to make them happy, but in reality, it is 100% a choice.  And it's a continual choice that doesn't necessarily take action over night.  You may have to remind yourself of that choice every single morning before getting out of bed, and even throughout the day, but when negative thoughts enter your mind, it is important to stay strong and honour your decision.  This is where some may have a hard time, because there are so many reasons to fall back into a sad, unhappy, or even depressed state.  However, if you make the decision over and over again, eventually you won't have to think about it; it will just be your natural state of mind.  Also realize that without this crucial choice, none of the other tips will be as effective in bringing long-term contentment to your life.

2. Tell the people that are closest to you.

These words are all positive things that may result from telling your loved ones. (This photo was taken from here)

A drastic change in your thoughts, mood, and attitude toward things you used to enjoy may cause family and friends to think you're overreacting or being dramatic--especially if they weren't aware or experienced what you went through.  But everyone is different.  Try to explain to your close friends and family what happened and how you feel about it in the best way you can.  That way, they will understand why you may be acting differently, and try to help you get through this time.

3. Go on a vacation or trip.

Whether it is to a beach in another country, or a local park or café, getting away from your situation can give you time to think more clearly, put things into perspective, and face your situation when you return. 

(Both of these photos were taken by my friend Warren.  To see more, follow him here!)

In the midst of my severe unhappiness, my mom and I went on vacation to see our family.  I knew I'd enjoy my time away from home, but I was in for a lot more than that.  I learned that there is so much more to life than the circumstance I was going through.  There was so much more to see, so much more to do, and so much to be happy and thankful for.  Getting away from the person, place, or thing that is making you sad, and having a good time with people who do make you happy may give you the strength to handle your situation head-on and with better insight when you return.  It may also cause you to realize that you should leave certain issues in the past, and that they don't deserve your time or effort.  If you can't afford an extravagant vacation, try going on a road trip, a weekend getaway, or even to your favourite place in order to get away.

4. Write in a journal or start a blog.

Find time to write things down, so you are able to see how far you've come in the future! 

(This photo is from here, and is a part of an interesting article about journaling.)

Writing down your feelings, emotions and experiences on paper or a blog can act as an effective outlet.  Document your highs as well as your lows.  If you can't sleep, write down your thoughts, dreams, and aspirations.  Allow yourself to get deep...and dark.  Don't be ashamed of what you have to say.  You don't even have to read over any of your entries.  However, when you do decide to read your journal or blog, hopefully you'll be able to see the improvements you made, and be proud of how far you've come since your first entry.  Don't limit yourself to a journal: create art, write music, listen to music, start a video diary, cook, bake, exercise, or take classes that interest you.  Do anything that allows you to express yourself, release any animosity, and get you back to enjoying fun activities...and life.

5. Figure out what's best for you.

Do you feel better when you are going out with friends....

(Find this photo here.)

....or staying home and relaxing with a good book?

(Find this photo here.)

During this time, some may feel overwhelmed being around a lot of people and choose to be alone, while others may want to surround themselves with friends and loved ones to help them forget about what they are going through.  My advice is to see how you feel in both situations. Do you like having time alone to figure out your next step in this journey toward happiness, or do you find yourself thinking about how sad you are when you are by youself?  Do your friends help you get your mind off of your situation and genuinely make you feel good, or do you feel lonelier than ever when you are in a crowd?  Really consider this, and figure out what you like better, and then do this as much as you can.  Don't get carried away.  Remember that you shouldn't isolate yourself from others, but also shouldn't spend every moment with someone else; you still need some time alone to reflect.

6. Seek help!

Stay strong, keep calm, and seek help! (This photo is from here.)

As I said earlier, these tips are not medical--I don't have a university degree, never mind a PhD.  If you truly do not feel like yourself, and have felt this way off and on or for a prolonged amount of time, see a doctor.  If loved ones are concerned, you may owe it to them and yourself to look deeper, and see what is going on from a clinical perspective.  Your situation may have triggered something more serious and long-term (such as depression, mood disorders, anxiety, and even medical illness), and you should seek help.  Remember that getting help is not a sign of weakness; it shows that you value yourself enough to be your best self.  Try to be strong and courageous, as opposed to afraid or embarrassed.  You can do it!

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to tips for leading a happier life, but I hope you try some of them!  However, if you feel like you or someone close to you may be struggling with depression or any other mental illness, visit the Canadian Mental Health Association or Mental Health America website, or contact your local associations for further information and assistance.  

Make sure to check me out on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.  Have a wonderful week!

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New Year, New Me?

Can someone please find me one person who has stuck with their New Year's resolutions this year...or any year?  Because as far as I'm concerned, a list of 10 things I should (or shouldn't) do for 365 days is really just tiring, stressful, and often unrealistic.  I mean, resolutions like "Stop eating Mcdonald's forever" and "Exercise every single day" are just not going to happen for a a girl like me who loves salty french fries and laying in bed for hours.

But your resolutions don't have to be all talk and no action.  If you write them down somewhere visible, create timelines, and are truly committed to making a change even when things get tough, there is no reason why you can't make this upcoming year the best one yet.

I have come up with a few tips on how to succeed (or at least try) in achieving your New Year's resolutions.

1. Come up with a shorter list

Think carefully when you write your resolutions.  See this photo here.  

I'm sure there are hundreds of things we could all do in order to become perfect people, but it's just not realistic.  Try thinking of 3-5 improvements you would like to make in your life.  That way, you can stay focused on the driving forces of your decisions and changes.  Even one goal is a big step.

2. Put your list in plain sight

Adding little notes on the to the fridge, TV, or even a bag of chips creates a visual that may help you to refrain from bad habits.

As much as I hate to admit it (I rarely write things down...ironic huh?), creating a fun, colourful list on paper, and placing it somewhere you visit everyday can be very motivating, and put you in the right mind-frame for the day. You can even write little notes on significant items to remind you of your goals.

3. Partner up with someone

Teaming up with friends to accomplish mutual goals is always a win-win.  
Find this photo and some fun partner workouts here!

Working on your resolutions with a friend, family member, or even a co-worker can also be a great motivator.  When one of you feel like giving up, you can push each other to keep going.  Not to mention reaping in the rewards together!

4. Don't be afraid of failure or setbacks 

Success can still be achieved after a perceived "failure"...Don't give up!  Photo from here.

Remember that a NY Resolution should be a personal choice; no one should be forcing you to do anything.  During the course of the year, don't be beat yourself up about eating that extra slice of pizza--you're not perfect!  Just be proud of how far you've come, and resume your efforts as soon as you can.

5. Be ready to make the commitment and stay disciplined

What a great quote!  Something we should all think about.  See this photo here.

Although you shouldn't be afraid to fail, make sure to take your resolutions seriously.  Without being committed and truly depriving yourself of indulgences from the previous year, you are bound to quit before next December.  That is why it is important to set goals that you are willing to "suffer" to achieve...and stick with them.

6. Download an App to keep you on track

Evernote is an effective way to keep your life organized and remember everything.  

The Nike Training Club app lets you choose workouts based on your 
personal goals, track your progress, and set your own music while getting in shape!

For 99 cents, iMood Journal is simple and cute, and helps you track what
makes you happy and upset. Rate your mood and add comments on why you're feeling that way.

Since most of us have our cell phones in hand or 2 millimeters away 99% of the time, why not put that to use for your New Year's goals?  There are apps for specific purposes (e.g. quitting smoking, losing weight, or exercising), and some just to keep your thoughts organized.  A few apps I really love are Evernote, Nike Training Club, and iMoodJournal to chart how I feel about my progress!

My New Year's Resolutions:

• Read the bible more often
• Take advantage of my school's gym (I'm paying for it anyway!)
• Get a part-time or full-time summer job that is relevant to my future career
• Respond to text messages quicker 
• Post to this blog regularly and consistently!

It is going to be tough, but when those hard times occur, keep thinking of how great you'll feel when the year is up, and the biggest reward you'll receive: a better you!

What are your resolutions for the new year?

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have a wonderful new year and good luck with your goals and resolutions!

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