The topic of having and what makes someone a good friend has been on my mind a lot this week. This year has been great for me in terms of making really good friends, but there were times when I wasn't as lucky. I'm sure we can all admit that we haven't always been the perfect friend to the people we love, and the people we love haven't been the perfect friends to us. However, there are some friends..."THAT" friend, who isn't necessarily the nicest or most considerate person in our clique on a more consistent basis. But if you're still unclear as to the kind of person I'm talking about, I've composed a list of hints that will help you spot if you have or maybe even are "that" friend (although I sincerely hope that you have a fun, loyal, honest, trustworthy group of friends in which this post would just be for entertainment).
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| Do you have friends like this, or the ones below? (Source) |
They only text you when they need something - And to them, that means "anything" at any time of the day.
They talk about themselves...ALL the time - Friends are supposed to make sacrifices, and your friend believes that means you sacrificing your own problems to listen to theirs.
They lie to you when you ask for their advice or opinions because why would you deserve to hear their actual opinions? They like to agree with you no matter what, in order to avoid arguments and any of the sticky stuff that comes with having an honest conversation.
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| When you just know your friend is lying (Source) |
They talk about you behind your back to, well, anyone - Yes, your friend loves you most of the time, but sometimes they can't help but vent to other people when you're getting on his/her last nerve!
They don't make conversation with your family - Even though your parents are the ones who drove the two of you to the Jonas Brothers' concert in '07, or let him/her sleep in your house for three days straight, your friend doesn't feel the need to be all buddy-buddy with your fam. They have one family they have to speak to on a daily basis, and that's enough for them.
They never offer to pay the extra couple of dollars for you- It sucks when you're missing some change to pay for your Booster Juice smoothie, but it's really not their problem now is it?
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| When "that" friend gives you the "you're broke" look... (Source) |
They drop you as soon the people around them make fun of you- "You are only as good as the company you keep" and your friend doesn't want to be associated with someone who makes them look bad in the eyes of people he/she doesn't even care about.
If they ever have a choice between their significant other and you, they always choose the significant other - They don't think blowing you off to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend is that big of a deal. You should understand that the person they've been dating for two weeks means A LOT to them, ok???
They always make excuses when they can't hang out with you - Sometimes your friend gets better offers, and he/she needs to think of a little white lie to get out of spending yet another Friday night eating pizza and watching
Sex and the City reruns with you
.
They point out your flaws or state their opinions...especially when it's most inappropriate - Their idea of being a good friend means telling you when you're "getting fat", don't have the right personality for your dream job, or that your boyfriend dresses weird. And they believe it's best when these things are said in front of a large group of people.
They flirt with your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex, but that's only to test your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex to make sure they were, are, or will be a good and loyal candidate for you. Well...most of the time. On other occasions, it's just to annoy you. Oops!
They don't let you have other friends - You only need one person in your life, and that's obviously him/her. Any other platonic relationships would just get in the way of the strong bond you two share.
They write rude statuses and tweets about you when they're angry - It makes more sense for him/her to share their anger at you with the cyber world than directly
with you. That way, tension can build between you, people can gossip about your friendship, and the whole situation can become bigger than it could have been if they had just spoken to you directly.
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| Scrolling down your timeline happily until you see that awful subtweet (Source) |
They don't do anything with you unless they want to do it - Remember the "sacrifice" we spoke about earlier? Well that only applies to you. Therefore, your friend should never be asked to sit through a boring sports game, or spend six hours at the mall shopping for something that you're clearly not going to find.
They say one thing, and do the other - On Tuesday, your friend tells you that he/she hates when people do something, and on Friday, you catch them doing the exact thing they said they hated. But they can't help it...he/she is a complex person.
I'm sure there are other ways to tell if you have "that" friend, but these are the main characteristics that no one ever wants in a friend. As I said above, none of us are perfect, but I can honestly say that I've had friends say and do some of these things, and it feels good when those people are personally escorted out of my life. So, if you spot any of these in some of your present friends, I recommend assessing whether "that" friend adds value to your life (in which you sit down with him/her and let them know how you feel), or whether they simply add stress (in which you do not neeeeeeeed them). However, if you see these characteristics in yourself (myself included), we also need to be mindful of how we are treating the people who are most important our lives. Because, quite frankly, we all deserve to have amazing friends...but to also
be amazing friends as well.
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| One of my favourite sayings is "relationships shouldn't be stressful", and they shouldn't! Your friends should bring out the absolute best in you, and you should bring out the best in them! |
xx
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