Things I would tell my 'Then' self

This week I was reading through past journal entries, and came across a list I made at the beginning of the year, entitled "Things I would have told my 'then' self".  I think we all have valuable tips we would have given ourselves if only we knew how life would pan out, but sadly, the past is in the past.  Nevertheless, I thought it'd be fun to share my list with you, because although I have no regrets, maybe people still in high school can benefit from my lessons, or people my age and older can identify with these tips/warnings drawn from different experiences I've had so far.

Today's blog post is comes straight from my journal people!

1. Do not lose your tattoo choker because those things are now going for way more than you'll be willing to pay.

2. Remember people's last names so you can creep them on Facebook seven years later and see what they look like post-puberty.

3. You're not popular.  You don't even know what that means.  Stop being stuck up.  You're 10.

4. Cherish all the field trips you're going on because it will never happen again.

5. Don't be friends with mean people who make you feel the need to be meaner yourself.

6. The people you try so hard to impress and be friends with actually suck.  STAY AWAY.

7. But don't stay away because they will teach you that there is no need to impress and be friends with people who suck. Ha.

8. Not everyone will like you or understand you. Some will hate you for no reason but that's ok, own it.

9. You can't save everyone, and sometimes, you can't save people from themselves.

10. Maybe don't cry so much over people, because I promise you none of them will be remotely relevant today.

11. Care more about people's feelings.

12. But always do what's best for you regardless of what other people think.

13. University is as good as they say, and better than you think it will be.

14. Things get better.

15. Remember that happiness is a choice.

16. Time really does heal all.

This was just a short post, but it's always interesting to reflect on past experiences and realize that when people used to say "those things you're worrying about won't matter in a few years" they were 100% right!  I would love to know what you would have told your "then" self based on what you've learned about yourself and life in general, so don't be afraid to comment or tweet me!

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

Ways to tell if you have "That" Friend

The topic of having and what makes someone a good friend has been on my mind a lot this week.  This year has been great for me in terms of making really good friends, but there were times when I wasn't as lucky.  I'm sure we can all admit that we haven't always been the perfect friend to the people we love, and the people we love haven't been the perfect friends to us.  However, there are some friends..."THAT" friend, who isn't necessarily the nicest or most considerate person in our clique on a more consistent basis.  But if you're still unclear as to the kind of person I'm talking about, I've composed a list of hints that will help you spot if you have or maybe even are "that" friend (although I sincerely hope that you have a fun, loyal, honest, trustworthy group of friends in which this post would just be for entertainment).

Do you have friends like this, or the ones below?  (Source)

They only text you when they need something - And to them, that means "anything" at any time of the day.  

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They talk about themselves...ALL the time - Friends are supposed to make sacrifices, and your friend believes that means you sacrificing your own problems to listen to theirs.

Source

They lie to you when you ask for their advice or opinions because why would you deserve to hear their actual opinions?  They like to agree with you no matter what, in order to avoid arguments and any of the sticky stuff that comes with having an honest conversation.

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When you just know your friend is lying (Source)

They talk about you behind your back to, well, anyone - Yes, your friend loves you most of the time, but sometimes they can't help but vent to other people when you're getting on his/her last nerve!

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They don't make conversation with your family - Even though your parents are the ones who drove the two of you to the Jonas Brothers' concert in '07, or let him/her sleep in your house for three days straight, your friend doesn't feel the need to be all buddy-buddy with your fam.  They have one family they have to speak to on a daily basis, and that's enough for them.  

Source

They never offer to pay the extra couple of dollars for you- It sucks when you're missing some change to pay for your Booster Juice smoothie, but it's really not their problem now is it?

When "that" friend gives you the "you're broke" look... (Source)

They drop you as soon the people around them make fun of you- "You are only as good as the company you keep" and your friend doesn't want to be associated with someone who makes them look bad in the eyes of people he/she doesn't even care about.  

Source

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If they ever have a choice between their significant other and you, they always choose the significant other - They don't think blowing you off to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend is that big of a deal.  You should understand that the person they've been dating for two weeks means A LOT to them, ok???

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They always make excuses when they can't hang out with you - Sometimes your friend gets better offers, and he/she needs to think of a little white lie to get out of spending yet another Friday night eating pizza and watching Sex and the City reruns with you. 

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They point out your flaws or state their opinions...especially when it's most inappropriate - Their idea of being a good friend means telling you when you're "getting fat", don't have the right personality for your dream job, or that your boyfriend dresses weird.  And they believe it's best when these things are said in front of a large group of people. 

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They flirt with your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex, but that's only to test your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex to make sure they were, are, or will be a good and loyal candidate for you.  Well...most of the time.  On other occasions, it's just to annoy you.  Oops!

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They don't let you have other friends - You only need one person in your life, and that's obviously him/her.  Any other platonic relationships would just get in the way of the strong bond you two share.

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They write rude statuses and tweets about you when they're angry - It makes more sense for him/her to share their anger at you with the cyber world than directly with you.  That way, tension can build between you, people can gossip about your friendship, and the whole situation can become bigger than it could have been if they had just spoken to you directly.

Scrolling down your timeline happily until you see that awful subtweet (Source)

They don't do anything with you unless they want to do it - Remember the "sacrifice" we spoke about earlier?  Well that only applies to you.  Therefore, your friend should never be asked to sit through a boring sports game, or spend six hours at the mall shopping for something that you're clearly not going to find.  

Well... (Source)

They say one thing, and do the other - On Tuesday, your friend tells you that he/she hates when people do something, and on Friday, you catch them doing the exact thing they said they hated.  But they can't help it...he/she is a complex person.

Cut it out. (Source)

I'm sure there are other ways to tell if you have "that" friend, but these are the main characteristics that no one ever wants in a friend.  As I said above, none of us are perfect, but I can honestly say that I've had friends say and do some of these things, and it feels good when those people are personally escorted out of my life.  So, if you spot any of these in some of your present friends, I recommend assessing whether "that" friend adds value to your life (in which you sit down with him/her and let them know how you feel), or whether they simply add stress (in which you do not neeeeeeeed them).  However, if you see these characteristics in yourself (myself included), we also need to be mindful of how we are treating the people who are most important our lives.  Because, quite frankly, we all deserve to have amazing friends...but to also be amazing friends as well. 

One of my favourite sayings is "relationships shouldn't be stressful", and they shouldn't!  Your friends should bring out the absolute best in you, and you should bring out the best in them!

xx

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