Ways to tell if you have "That" Friend

The topic of having and what makes someone a good friend has been on my mind a lot this week.  This year has been great for me in terms of making really good friends, but there were times when I wasn't as lucky.  I'm sure we can all admit that we haven't always been the perfect friend to the people we love, and the people we love haven't been the perfect friends to us.  However, there are some friends..."THAT" friend, who isn't necessarily the nicest or most considerate person in our clique on a more consistent basis.  But if you're still unclear as to the kind of person I'm talking about, I've composed a list of hints that will help you spot if you have or maybe even are "that" friend (although I sincerely hope that you have a fun, loyal, honest, trustworthy group of friends in which this post would just be for entertainment).

Do you have friends like this, or the ones below?  (Source)

They only text you when they need something - And to them, that means "anything" at any time of the day.  

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They talk about themselves...ALL the time - Friends are supposed to make sacrifices, and your friend believes that means you sacrificing your own problems to listen to theirs.

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They lie to you when you ask for their advice or opinions because why would you deserve to hear their actual opinions?  They like to agree with you no matter what, in order to avoid arguments and any of the sticky stuff that comes with having an honest conversation.

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When you just know your friend is lying (Source)

They talk about you behind your back to, well, anyone - Yes, your friend loves you most of the time, but sometimes they can't help but vent to other people when you're getting on his/her last nerve!

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They don't make conversation with your family - Even though your parents are the ones who drove the two of you to the Jonas Brothers' concert in '07, or let him/her sleep in your house for three days straight, your friend doesn't feel the need to be all buddy-buddy with your fam.  They have one family they have to speak to on a daily basis, and that's enough for them.  

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They never offer to pay the extra couple of dollars for you- It sucks when you're missing some change to pay for your Booster Juice smoothie, but it's really not their problem now is it?

When "that" friend gives you the "you're broke" look... (Source)

They drop you as soon the people around them make fun of you- "You are only as good as the company you keep" and your friend doesn't want to be associated with someone who makes them look bad in the eyes of people he/she doesn't even care about.  

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If they ever have a choice between their significant other and you, they always choose the significant other - They don't think blowing you off to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend is that big of a deal.  You should understand that the person they've been dating for two weeks means A LOT to them, ok???

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They always make excuses when they can't hang out with you - Sometimes your friend gets better offers, and he/she needs to think of a little white lie to get out of spending yet another Friday night eating pizza and watching Sex and the City reruns with you. 

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They point out your flaws or state their opinions...especially when it's most inappropriate - Their idea of being a good friend means telling you when you're "getting fat", don't have the right personality for your dream job, or that your boyfriend dresses weird.  And they believe it's best when these things are said in front of a large group of people. 

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They flirt with your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex, but that's only to test your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex to make sure they were, are, or will be a good and loyal candidate for you.  Well...most of the time.  On other occasions, it's just to annoy you.  Oops!

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They don't let you have other friends - You only need one person in your life, and that's obviously him/her.  Any other platonic relationships would just get in the way of the strong bond you two share.

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They write rude statuses and tweets about you when they're angry - It makes more sense for him/her to share their anger at you with the cyber world than directly with you.  That way, tension can build between you, people can gossip about your friendship, and the whole situation can become bigger than it could have been if they had just spoken to you directly.

Scrolling down your timeline happily until you see that awful subtweet (Source)

They don't do anything with you unless they want to do it - Remember the "sacrifice" we spoke about earlier?  Well that only applies to you.  Therefore, your friend should never be asked to sit through a boring sports game, or spend six hours at the mall shopping for something that you're clearly not going to find.  

Well... (Source)

They say one thing, and do the other - On Tuesday, your friend tells you that he/she hates when people do something, and on Friday, you catch them doing the exact thing they said they hated.  But they can't help it...he/she is a complex person.

Cut it out. (Source)

I'm sure there are other ways to tell if you have "that" friend, but these are the main characteristics that no one ever wants in a friend.  As I said above, none of us are perfect, but I can honestly say that I've had friends say and do some of these things, and it feels good when those people are personally escorted out of my life.  So, if you spot any of these in some of your present friends, I recommend assessing whether "that" friend adds value to your life (in which you sit down with him/her and let them know how you feel), or whether they simply add stress (in which you do not neeeeeeeed them).  However, if you see these characteristics in yourself (myself included), we also need to be mindful of how we are treating the people who are most important our lives.  Because, quite frankly, we all deserve to have amazing friends...but to also be amazing friends as well. 

One of my favourite sayings is "relationships shouldn't be stressful", and they shouldn't!  Your friends should bring out the absolute best in you, and you should bring out the best in them!

xx

Check out my Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, and share this post if you liked it.  Have an amazing week!

I Wish there was Another Word for "Beautiful"

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Earlier this week, I did something I never thought I'd be able to do (at least not yet): I went out in public with no makeup on.  Some people may think that's stupid, or that people who can't be fresh faced are conceited or whatever.  But I, like many people, have acne scars, and they can be embarrassing. They made me feel uncomfortable showing my face for almost six years.  However, a couple weeks ago, I did a chemical peel, which causes your old skin to peel off, and reveal clearer, new skin.  And let me tell you, that was the most torturous week ever (It didn't hurt or anything, but I had to stay home for a week straight...talk about stir crazy!).  Even though I did the peel, the scars were not completely faded, and my skin was nowhere close to being flawless (Beyoncé voice).  Nevertheless, I applied my sunscreen, put on a baseball cap and sunglasses, mustered up courage, and headed out the door.  

I had to wait 10 minutes before the bus came.  This meant I had to stand there, outside, where someone I knew could see me and be alarmed at the sight of my face (everyone has only seen me with makeup on).  But no one I knew showed up, and no one took particular interest in me or what I looked like.  This went on for the rest of the journey.  In fact, when I realized that people didn't really care about my appearance, I started gaining a little bit of confidence.  I spoke to sales associates, stopped tugging so much on my cap...I even took my sunglasses off!  After a while, I looked at this as an accomplishment.  I had built up the courage to go out in public showing the real me!

This got me thinking about the people who have insecurities they can't hide, no matter how hard they try: a birth mark, an undesirable facial feature, or even their weight.  I have a greater respect for these people.  Everyday, they have to get out of bed and step into the public eye, being, or at least acting like they are comfortable in their own skin.  Some people may decide to ignore them, or make fun of them because something they can't change.  But they still have to live their lives and choose to be happy.

Sometimes it feels impossible to embrace our flaws, but even the most gorgeous person alive has his/her insecurities.  Everyone has something they scrutinize in the bathroom mirror.  And despite society's idea that we all have to look and have the same idea of "pretty" in order to be accepted, for the most part, people will accept you regardless of what you think is "ugly" or "unattractive" about yourself.  There's no point stressing ourselves out, trying to look a certain way for people who will criticize or put us down anyway.  I mean, we all want to look nice, be complimented, and receive "likes" on our photos, but getting "likes" on Instagram of Facebook isn't everything.  What's most important is how we feel and who we are on the inside.  That way, our internal confidence and positivity can radiate outward, impacting people's lives, rather than attempting to satisfy judgemental eyes.

I truly admire people who accept their imperfections.  There is just something about someone who knows they are beautiful from the inside out, and that the people who know it too are the only ones worth their time.  I guess the point of this long ramble is that although we are ALL beautiful, we ALL have something more to offer the world than physical beauty (and if you don't believe me, just listen to my bby J. Cole's song Crooked Smile).

I've never written a "personal" blog post, but I wanted to post something different this week.  This is really long, probably reeeaally poorly written, and not everyone will agree or enjoy it, but there's no point in gaining a new perspective first-hand, if you can't share it with people who might be interested or impacted (also, the title has nothing to do with the actual blog post but wutevs).

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Be nice and inspire the people you meet, and remember, "calling other people ugly doesn't make you any prettier"!

Don't forget to check me out and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have the best weekend ever!

50 Ways to have an Unforgettable Summer!

HELLO HELLO!!!  It's been almost eight thousand years since I've written anything and I promise to never leave you all for that long ever again (I hope).  But I have officially finished my first year of university and despite the fact that I will be starting summer school and work soon, I will have a lot more time to write posts.

Anyway, since there are four months for us Uni and College kids before school picks up again, I thought I would give you some suggestions on how to spend the summa.  I know that high school students still have a couple of months before their summer begins, but it is never too early to get excited for those hot summer months, and the possibilities that come with them.  Some of these suggestions are most likely what you were already planning on doing this year, but others will hopefully help you get out of your comfort zone, give you some alternatives to your typical routine, and have the BEST summer ever yay!

In no particular order, here are my FIFTY suggestions for spending this summer vacation.

Summer vacation is full of opportunities...how are you going to spend yours? 

Photo from Pinterest 

1. Teach yourself a new language via Google, Rosetta Stone, or even a phone or iPad app.

2. Read at least three books from totally different genres 

3. Muster up the courage to talk to the cute guy or girl at the coffee shop (or confess your love to someone you do know) - and if they don't feel the same way, you have 2 - 4 months to pretend nothing happened ha (just kidding)

4. Do a run or walk for charity - there are so many fun charity walks that you can participate in teams, while also raising money for a cause you really believe in.

5. Spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing - but not, like, everyday...

6. Start a DIY project - cut your jeans, decorate a mug, get creative!  There are so many ideas you can search up on Pinterest.

7. Spend the day with yourself - go to the library, visit a museum or art gallery and become a lil more cultured (or just go to the mall and shop until your heart's content because you really cannot go wrong with that)

8. Go to dinner or a party with the members of all your different friend groups - it might be kind of awkward hanging out with your friends from camp, school, church and your soccer team all at once, but their different experiences and personalities can make for an unpredictable and interesting night

9. Cook an entire three course meal - yes, you'll probably be in the kitchen all day, but the sense of accomplishment you'll feel when you've finished cooking an appetizer, main course, and dessert, will make it all worth it

10. Do something active - and by active, I mean skipping dinner or the movies to play laser tag, go go-carting or paint balling, and get sweaty and even a little messy

11. Have a grade-school style slumber party - complete with pajamas, magazines, nail polish, and a solid game of Truth or Dare (which will probably be juicier now that we're older than 10 years old)

12. Wear something embarrassing out in public, and see what kinds of reactions you get - this for the people who are don't care what anyone thinks, or those who want to stop caring

13. Pull an all-nighter - stay up from the moment the sun goes down, all the way until sunrise the next day

14. Perform a random act of kindness - or many acts of kindness

15. Go to a public event in your area - this could include a sporting event, a music festival, or a carnival

16. Spend the day with your parents doing what they want to do - go grocery shopping, help them run errands,go to the movies; earn your title as Son or Daughter of the Year

17. Don't check your social media accounts for a whole day - and try not to roll over a die...I believe in you!

18. Go on an evening walk or bike ride with a friend around your neighbourhood - the perfect time to enjoy the great outdoors and good conversation is when the sun starts to set and the air starts to cool down

19. Have a movie or TV series marathon - choose a series on Netflix or buy a bunch of five dollar movies from Walmart or Target, and park yourself on the couch or in bed with an abundance of food by your side

20. Go to the beach - spend the day frolicking in the water, playing a game of beach volleyball, and having some fun in the sun

21. Go downtown and visit the more obscure and unique shops - support entrepreneurs who are offering one of a kind items and yummy food

22. Go to a local farmer's market - nothing's better than waking up early on a Saturday morning, buying fresh produce, and socializing with the residents of your community

23. Rekindle a friendship - call (or text...or Facebook message...or direct message...) someone you used to be close with, and even if you don't necessarily "rekindle" the relationship you once had, enjoy a nice conversation with an old friend

24. Get a job - because a lot of these suggestions are gonna cost ya!

25. Make your own cocktails or mocktails and sip them on the porch or patio - homemade popsicles work too

26. Go camping or have a bonfire with a bunch of friends - going camping is still one of my favourite memories and best experiences of my life, and I recommend it 100%

27. Get ready to go out using ONLY Youtube tutorials - we all watch beauty and hair tutorials, but almost never actually try them out...this is your chance

28. Eat something you swore you'd never try - or do something you swore you'd never do, because realistically, I would try any food once

29. Redecorate your room - or your Tumblr, or any type of redecorating

30. Go on a long drive to nowhere in particular and see where you end up

31. Make a new friend - and make the effort to keep them!

32. Go thrifting - don't just buy second hand clothes from the same stores you already shop in...try to find something different or vintage (or something that looks cool and vintage, same thing)

33. Splurge on something you've always wanted - provided you have or got that job I suggested earlier

34. Buy new music - purchase your favourite artist's new album and fall in love all over again

35. Take a class at the community centre - register for cooking, or ballroom, or guitar, or basketball

36. Have a Dare Night - gather up your friends, get into groups of four or five, dress up in matching outfits and complete a set of dares before the end of the night

37. Visit a theme or water park 

38. Learn about a different culture - find out about their customs, rituals, and traditional dishes

39. Go on a last minute getaway or road trip - if you have the funds, why not spend the weekend (or longer) away in a different city, province, or state

40. Hold family or friend Game Night - complete with classic board games, Twister, and those wizard and dragon games like in that one episode of Lizzie McGuire (thumbs up if you know what I'm talking about)

41. Watch all of your Disney movies - because every kid born in the 90's or later has an extensive collection of Disney films that need some lovin'

42. Throw or go to a house party - but be safe and responsible *mom voice*

43. Exercise - because I had to add this on the list (how are your New Year's Resolutions going, by the way??)

44. Strike up a conversation with a stranger - a simple conversation with someone in line at Starbucks or the supermarket can actually make someone's day...even yours!

45. Go on a late night trip to get fast food or candy - for some reason, places like McDonald's and Walmart are so much more fun at 3 am

46. Volunteer - find an organization or even a company that you really admire, and see if you help out by giving up your time for free

47. Update your wardrobe - as I said, you can't go wrong with shopping

48. Try to laugh at something (or with someone) every single day - enough laughter can even burn calories so that's a win-win

49. Record your memories in a journal; on little pieces of paper you stick in a jar and read later; or in the form of a picture or video diary

50. Be a yes (wo)man - spend the summer saying "yes" to things you normally wouldn't, and put yourself in situations where you can learn, grow, meet new people, try new things, gain new experiences and perspectives, and have the best times of your life

How do you plan on spending your summer?

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Have a wonderful week!

The Single Girl's (or Boy's) Guide to Spending Valentine's Day

We are now into the second week of February, and are quickly approaching what most people call Valentine's Day, and what I call Friday.  That's right, I'm single.  Please contain your excitement boys.

Anyway, as a single person who's never had a valentine before, I've had to be creative with how I spend this special love day.  And I thought I'd share what I've come up with.  This isn't a post to make you feel bad about your relationship status, and these aren't activities that should or have to be reserved for Valentine's day--as I said before, it's essentially just another Friday night.  You can choose to do one of these, or spread the activities out over the entire weekend.  SO without further adieu, here is your single girl's guide to how to spend Valentine's day...or any day.

Thanks but no thanks...

Bake something 

Click on the photos for their recipes, and visit my Pinterest for other recipes!

Look for a really easy recipe on Pinterest or Allrecipes.com for brownies or cake or something yummy, and pull a Betty Crocker (she's not even a real person, oops) in the kitchen.  The best part about creating these treats as an independent young person who doesn't need anyone to define you, is that you can indulge in them all by yourself.  Nothing's worse than having to give away half your cupcakes or cookies to others (kidding), when you can stuff your face with all of them, ha.

Get Pampered 

Do some primping and make yourself feel good.  Get a manicure or a facial and use this day to give yourself the TLC you deserve.  Go all out with what you choose to do at the nail salon, and for the next two weeks, let those pretty nails be a reminder of the wonderful day you had with yourself...the #1 person in your life.

Send V-Day cards to your loved ones 

Instead of sending a sappy text message to some guy, make or buy a few cards, and write personal messages to the people who will appreciate it the most: your friends and family.  Love isn't always professed to a significant other; your platonic relationships are important too.  Use this day to remind your loved ones how much you value, admire, and, well, love them!  I guarantee it'll warm their little hearts, and that your card will be the one they actually keep after V-day.

Surf the internet

This is exactly what I mean by surfing the net..yep.

If you read my last blog post, you know how much I love the internet.  It can be used for productivity, like searching for summer jobs or companies you'd like to work for in the future, but I also personally enjoy searching for vacation destinations, taking personality tests, reading blogs, or watching celebrity news or pointless videos on YouTube.  Try googling one topic, and see where it takes you by the time the clock strikes 3 am (because that's what the internet'll do to ya).

Go out with a potential new friend 

As much as you may be worrying and/or complaining about it, I'm sure not everrry single one of your friends is in a relationship.  And if they are, why not invite someone you've been meaning to get to know out for coffee or dessert (or, you know, both)?  This will give you a chance to engage in some stimulating one-on-one conversation, and you may even end the night with a new friend with whom you bonded with because of your lack of Valentines dates.

 Attend a school event (or any event)

Most schools plan some sort of event to "celebrate" V-day, whether it be a dance, traffic light party, or just a crazy bash for the student body to enjoy.  And I encourage you to go, not necessarily with the intention of meeting your next boy or girl toy, but to go out, have a good time, and meet cool new people.  Talk to someone or everyone, and keep an open mind.  You might be surprised at how much fun you have.  Show others just how charming and amazing you are, and maybe you'll meet your Prince Charming (you probably won't)!!!!!!!

Raid the discount DVD bins at stores

Big box stores like Walmart and Target always have those huge bins of discounted DVDs in the electronics section.  Visit one of these stores and purchase your favourite movie, a classic film you haven't seen yet, or even a $5 flick that looks terrible--that way you'll either be pleasantly surprised by how good it turns out to be, or entertained by how horrible it truly is.

Get some retail therapy

It's been proven that shopping for the soul is actually a thing now.  It can be relaxing and reduce stress, but it's also so much fun.  Head to the mall and buy some new pieces for your spring wardrobe, because getting new things is good.  And if you don't have money, tell your parents that because you're not in a relationship, you have to buy yourself gifts, letting a single tear fall down your cheek and guilting them into funding your mid-February shopping trip.

Stay Home 

If none of these suggestions tickle your fancy, something that never fails is spending the night wrapped up in a blanket like a little burrito, and engaging in the two best activities ever created: sleeping and eating.  It's nice to go out and have a good time with friend or partner, but there are times when I'm thankful that I don't have to dress up, make my face look decent, and leave the house (unless I'm stepping outside to pay the pizza man or something).  Ugh, there's just something so attractive about my bed...and the thought of me in it.

Count your blessings

Being single isn't the end of the world.  In fact, it can be a blessing, depending on how you look at it.  Take this time to focus on school or work, become more independent, and grow as a person.  Be thankful for what you have, confident in who you are, and have faith in what's in store for the future.  The right person for you is out there, and you will both benefit from how much more amazing you'll be after this time you've taken to work on yourself.  But in the meantime, be patient and enjoy your life!



What are your plans for Valentine's Day?



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**Click on the photos to be directed to their original web pages**

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