Ways to tell if you have "That" Friend

The topic of having and what makes someone a good friend has been on my mind a lot this week.  This year has been great for me in terms of making really good friends, but there were times when I wasn't as lucky.  I'm sure we can all admit that we haven't always been the perfect friend to the people we love, and the people we love haven't been the perfect friends to us.  However, there are some friends..."THAT" friend, who isn't necessarily the nicest or most considerate person in our clique on a more consistent basis.  But if you're still unclear as to the kind of person I'm talking about, I've composed a list of hints that will help you spot if you have or maybe even are "that" friend (although I sincerely hope that you have a fun, loyal, honest, trustworthy group of friends in which this post would just be for entertainment).

Do you have friends like this, or the ones below?  (Source)

They only text you when they need something - And to them, that means "anything" at any time of the day.  

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They talk about themselves...ALL the time - Friends are supposed to make sacrifices, and your friend believes that means you sacrificing your own problems to listen to theirs.

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They lie to you when you ask for their advice or opinions because why would you deserve to hear their actual opinions?  They like to agree with you no matter what, in order to avoid arguments and any of the sticky stuff that comes with having an honest conversation.

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When you just know your friend is lying (Source)

They talk about you behind your back to, well, anyone - Yes, your friend loves you most of the time, but sometimes they can't help but vent to other people when you're getting on his/her last nerve!

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They don't make conversation with your family - Even though your parents are the ones who drove the two of you to the Jonas Brothers' concert in '07, or let him/her sleep in your house for three days straight, your friend doesn't feel the need to be all buddy-buddy with your fam.  They have one family they have to speak to on a daily basis, and that's enough for them.  

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They never offer to pay the extra couple of dollars for you- It sucks when you're missing some change to pay for your Booster Juice smoothie, but it's really not their problem now is it?

When "that" friend gives you the "you're broke" look... (Source)

They drop you as soon the people around them make fun of you- "You are only as good as the company you keep" and your friend doesn't want to be associated with someone who makes them look bad in the eyes of people he/she doesn't even care about.  

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If they ever have a choice between their significant other and you, they always choose the significant other - They don't think blowing you off to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend is that big of a deal.  You should understand that the person they've been dating for two weeks means A LOT to them, ok???

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They always make excuses when they can't hang out with you - Sometimes your friend gets better offers, and he/she needs to think of a little white lie to get out of spending yet another Friday night eating pizza and watching Sex and the City reruns with you. 

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They point out your flaws or state their opinions...especially when it's most inappropriate - Their idea of being a good friend means telling you when you're "getting fat", don't have the right personality for your dream job, or that your boyfriend dresses weird.  And they believe it's best when these things are said in front of a large group of people. 

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They flirt with your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex, but that's only to test your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex to make sure they were, are, or will be a good and loyal candidate for you.  Well...most of the time.  On other occasions, it's just to annoy you.  Oops!

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They don't let you have other friends - You only need one person in your life, and that's obviously him/her.  Any other platonic relationships would just get in the way of the strong bond you two share.

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They write rude statuses and tweets about you when they're angry - It makes more sense for him/her to share their anger at you with the cyber world than directly with you.  That way, tension can build between you, people can gossip about your friendship, and the whole situation can become bigger than it could have been if they had just spoken to you directly.

Scrolling down your timeline happily until you see that awful subtweet (Source)

They don't do anything with you unless they want to do it - Remember the "sacrifice" we spoke about earlier?  Well that only applies to you.  Therefore, your friend should never be asked to sit through a boring sports game, or spend six hours at the mall shopping for something that you're clearly not going to find.  

Well... (Source)

They say one thing, and do the other - On Tuesday, your friend tells you that he/she hates when people do something, and on Friday, you catch them doing the exact thing they said they hated.  But they can't help it...he/she is a complex person.

Cut it out. (Source)

I'm sure there are other ways to tell if you have "that" friend, but these are the main characteristics that no one ever wants in a friend.  As I said above, none of us are perfect, but I can honestly say that I've had friends say and do some of these things, and it feels good when those people are personally escorted out of my life.  So, if you spot any of these in some of your present friends, I recommend assessing whether "that" friend adds value to your life (in which you sit down with him/her and let them know how you feel), or whether they simply add stress (in which you do not neeeeeeeed them).  However, if you see these characteristics in yourself (myself included), we also need to be mindful of how we are treating the people who are most important our lives.  Because, quite frankly, we all deserve to have amazing friends...but to also be amazing friends as well. 

One of my favourite sayings is "relationships shouldn't be stressful", and they shouldn't!  Your friends should bring out the absolute best in you, and you should bring out the best in them!

xx

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Celebrities I Love for More than their Talent

I never understood people's genuine obsession with celebrities.  You know who I'm talking about: those fanatics who change their last names to those of actor's or actress' on social media, or threaten the person a celebrity is dating.  Most of the time, we only "know" an actor or singer from the roles they play or the songs they sing; very few of us actually get to see who they really are aside from some their interviews, tweets, or more recently, Instagram or Vine videos.  But there are some celebrities that have sold me on their kind, down-to-earth, and even funny personalities (with beauty to boot!).  They are the top famous people I would want to meet and even be friends with because they haven't gotten into trouble, take a stand against issues and support causes, and are just sooo cool!  Here are the celebrities that I adore for much more than their stage talent!

Blake Lively 

How perfect does Blake Lively look on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival?? (Source)

"...you meet those women who spend all their time cultivating their own powers, their own endeavors - but to have her say, how can I give this power to other women?  Or, every woman has this power, how can I help actualize that?  It's really amazing."

Okay, yes, she has been absolutely KILLING it over at Cannes with her gorgeous gowns, and inability to have a bad hair day...not to mention posing on the red carpet with her perfect husband, Ryan Reynolds, by her side (they are literally the modern day Barbie and Ken).  And, yes, maybe Gossip Girl is one of the best shows ever created.  But aside from all of that, Blake Lively seems like the sweetest girl with the biggest heart.  She loves to cook (and got me hooked on the show, Chopped), is an advocate for the empowerment of women, and is the face of Gucci and supports their Chime for Change campaign.  She keeps her private life private (which is admirable, but also disappointing as a fan who wants to see what's new in Blakey's life), and she genuinely seems not to notice how stunning she is.  And to me, humility is always a wholesome trait for a role model to possess.

Miles Teller 

If you haven't seen any of Miles Teller's movies, check them out this instant!!! (Source)

Follow Miles Teller here!

I don't remember when I first fell in love with him.  It could be when I watched him learn to dance in the movie Footloose, or breakdown and cry to his mother in the movie The Spectacular Now (which everyone needs to see by the way).  Or it could be his high cheekbones and winning sense of humour.  Either way, Miles Teller is amazing.  Watching his interviews on YouTube, it is obvious that he takes his roles seriously, has the best time bringing each character he plays to life, and is a total sweetheart.  He's not what you would call a stereotypical "hearthrob", but with his ability to be entertaining on and off the big screen, he's a hottie, and should make me his BFF immediately.

Sophia Bush 

Such a beauty who cares about the issues affecting our world.  (Source)

"We all bleed the same blood.  We all have hopes, dreams, fears, and wishes.  We all live on the same planet.  We all have to care for it, and care for one another...And we can do that through acts of kindness every day.  We can do that by choosing to speak out against inequality and injustice."

One Tree Hill has been off the air since 2012, but no matter.  Thanks to DVD boxed sets, I have been able to binge watch this popular show.  Naturally, I've looked up the actors on social media and I'm so impressed with Sophia Bush!  Aside from her cool, raspy voice, and tear-jerking OTL monologues, Sophia uses her Instagram and Twitter account to promote kindness and inner beauty, and is also an activist for women - especially those living in developing countries.  She is extremely successful, but also has her head on straight, and uses her success to reach people and share her views on important world issues.  You go girl (this is such a cheesy phrase but I actually mean it)!

Lupita Nyong'o 

Lupita is just gorgeous from the inside out! (Source)

"I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey...that you will feel validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.  There is no shade to that beauty." 

Of course I had to include my girl, Lupita!  I mean, she is an Academy Award winning actress, but she is also so much more than that.  Lupita wasn't always the confident girl we see today.  In many of her interviews, she talks about wishing she could wake up with lighter skin, and not truly thinking she was beautiful as a young woman.  But her composed, classy, and humble nature causes us to admire her not only for her beautiful face and totally fit body, but the kind and beautiful soul she has as well.  She gives hope to all the little girls who don't think they're beautiful because of their skin, or because they don't see girls like them represented in the media.  And I think that is one of the most powerful things someone can ever do.

J. Cole 

I absolutely love him. (Source)

"They don't have to be a rapper or an athlete, there are people who manage the rappers, who book the shows.  There are so many jobs you can do, this is about expanding their minds to those possibilities."

If I'm not obsessed with any celebrities, J. Cole is the closest I get.  As a rapper from Fayettville, North Carolina, Cole grew up in a single parent home, and remarks on many occasions that his family was quite poor.  He didn't have much, but he did have determination and drive.  He moved to New York for college (on an academic scholarship), graduated magna cum laude (which means, "with great honour" in Latin), and after several attempts at getting a record deal, he was the first artist signed with Jay-Z.  He writes and produces his own tracks, and his music is raw, honest, and relatable.  In addition to all of this, Cole has his own foundation that strives to help the urban youth in his hometown discover their dreams, and work hard to achieve success.  Marry me, perhaps?

Lauren Conrad 

Lauren Conrad has literally been one of my role models since I was 12 years old, and for good reasons! (Source)

"When we meet women who live with hope despite living with hardships, from extreme poverty to unimaginable trauma, it moves us to work as hard as we can on their behalf.  We are humbled by the women we work with and are grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in their future."

People can say what they want about The Hills, but I spent the entire preteen stage of my life watching it, and it is by far my favourite show.  Throughout her time on TV, Lauren managed to stay grounded, and didn't let fame negatively affect her.  Instead, she started and now has three clothing lines, a successful blog, and is a bestselling author for her LA Candy book series.  She is also active on social media, tweeting and taking beautiful photos of the simple things she surrounds herself with.  Conrad and one of her friends started The Little Market, a "social enterprise" that showcases and sells the handmade products of female artisans from all around the world.  As the second highest paid reality show personality, She could have just donated money to these communities.  Instead, she chose to fuel their economy, giving women of various ethnicities and cultures the ability to sell their products to a wider consumer-base, support their families, and be independent.

xx

I started liking these celebrities because of their talent or prominence on my television screen.  I didn't realize until I began writing this post, that part of the reason why I started loving them so much was because of their down-to-earth personalities, and/or efforts to impact our world in positive ways.  Any celebrity can be entertaining because of the role they play, the songs they sing, or the drama they find themselves involved in.  However, it takes strong, unique, and good-hearted individuals to recognize that their status in society can do more than give them the money to buy a mansion or a nice car.  They can inspire, support, and instill confidence in regular people, and that has more merit than any Grammy or Oscar.

Click on the quotes and links to read the rest of the articles and learn more about some of the organizations these celebrities are involved with!  And if you liked this post, be sure to share it with your friends, and follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.  Have the best week ever! (Read my last post here)